Resident Evil Games Do Not Make Sense.

FanGirl here.

Before I start, I would just like to point out that I enjoy playing RE games as much as, if not more than, every other RE player. Whenever I play them, I make sure that I do not take them seriously and that I know for a fact that they are just a figment of a group of people’s weird imagination. (Of course, I’m talking about the game plot and story line, and not about the zombies. Zombies exist! :D) But since I have to live in a boring reality, I can’t help but think that RE games really push the boundaries of not making sense…while trying to. (Or it may be the other way around, I’m not sure anymore.)

Should've just sold umbrellas.

Every Resident Evil game plot can be summarized as

1. Find yourself in a zombie infested place (for many and various reasons including but not limited to: finding a lost team of highly trained individuals, relative, a president’s daughter and a way out)
2. Kill zombies…and other…things.
3. Run around and play fetch while killing zombies.
4. Solve puzzles to open doors that lead you into facilities that would require you to solve other puzzles to open their doors that lead you into facilities that would require you to solve other puzzles to open their doors that lead you—‘m just going around in circles. (which is exactly what you do!!)
5. Save the day…or the world. But not really.

He just destroys it again for you. For fun.

In the RE game world, every office and/or evil headquarters is plagued with people who just can’t live with normal keys. You have to find emblems and corks and screws and unicorns and gems of different colors. You have to move different statues just to open up gates or doors. And then, somewhere in the middle of the game, while there are endless zombie hordes chasing after you, you have to play a slider puzzle which will then cause magical suit of armors to come to life and try to kill you.

Seriously…couldn’t we just breakdown doors in case of emergency? Or maybe use axes and stuff? I’m pretty sure no one would object to using explosive objects to breakdown gates, because, you know, everyone else is undead and only cares for your innards conversion to their newfound cult.

I’m ranting about this because I can because I just realized, RE hasn’t taught me anything about zombie survival.

What does figuring out how really complicated dashboards work have anything to do with fighting to stay alive?

And, really, if the people living in RE game world were so smart, they made opening stuff hard, how was it that the zombie apocalypse came to again? Oh, that’s right… Someone tried and failed to steal the damned virus causing it to leak into the sewage system and…well we know the rest. If they were so smart, and with all the damned confusing puzzles just to get into a singularly unimportant door, why couldn’t they have poured all their energies into making sure the stuff doesn’t get stolen in the first place?

But then again…we have Alber Wesker and his take-over-the-world-using-zombies plot.

But even that doesn’t make sense! Who would want to be the Lord of the Mindless Horde? Sure, it’s fun for the first few months…but when everyone else is part of the Mindless Horde…then what?

Mindless Horde

"Edgy" Mindless Horde

I actually don't mind being chased by this Horde

So…it really doesn’t make any sense.

With that said, leave me alone while I figure out this stupid slider puzzle.

---FanGirl

Video Game Review: Star Wars Starfighter(PlayStation 2)

Video Game Review: Star Wars Starfighter(PlayStation 2)

Time for a new game review!XD And this one is an old favorite of mine!

Star Wars Starfighter is a flight combat arcade style game released in 2001 for the PlayStation 2. The game takes place during the events of Episode 1 but instead of directly following the plot of the movie, the game's story follows three new and original pilots as they become become allies in the battle against the Trade Federation. Each pilot has there own unique stories, personalities, and starfighter  making for a varied game play experience. Rhys Dallows is a promising rookie pilot from Naboo who flies the iconic Naboo starfighter seen in Episode 1. Vana Sage is a mecenary hired by the Trade Federation who flies her own custom fighter the Guardian Mantis. Nym is a pirate with a personal army who flies the heavy bomber Havoc.

                                                                             Rhys

                                                                            Nym

                                                                           Vana

Each fighter rightfully plays differently from each other and the missions given to each pilot fits to there core strengths from the handling of the ship to each ships secondary weapons(missiles, bombs, ect.).

Vana's Guardian Mantis is geared to superior dog-fighting as it has the best speed and maneuverability of the three. Her ship's secondary weapons are special rechargeable target trackers that have the ability to take down the shields of enemy fighters in one shot. The tracker also allows the Mantis' blasters to home in on any enemy tagged with it, without the need to aim directly at your target. Her special second weapon includes holding down the secondary fire to combine all trackers into one super tracker capable of disabling even large battleships.The drawbacks include weak shields and health making it impossible to take on heavy enemies.

Nym's Havoc is a heavy assault bomber designed for take on large groups if heavy type enemies, battleships, and bases. Having strong shields, and heavy armor the Havoc can take  a ton of damage before going down. It also has an automated turret on top which acts on it's and attacks any nearby targets. It's regenerating bombs are pretty standard but cause an area of effect attack capable of destroying many ground targets clustered together. The havoc's special ability is to combine a certain number of bombs to create a super bomg able to destroy dozens of enemies in one shot. This fighter's drawbacks are it's slow speed and low maneuverability.

Rhys' Naboo starfighter is the more balanced of the three. It's shields and armor are decent all around. It has decent speed and maneuverability, while it's weapons are good enough to attack most targets. It's secondary weapons are basic(yet effective) proton torpedoes. It's special is combining two torpedoes to create one super torpedo. The one major flaw for this fighter is that it's torpedoes do not recharge over time.

The missions for the game are fun, fast-paced frag fests as you often battle hoards of enemies at once ranging from starfighters, tanks, bombers, and battleships. Each mission also comes with a large assortment of primary and secondary objectives including, escort, assault, rescue, hit and run and more. completing bonus objectives grants you medals: bronze, silver and gold. Completing these objectives is often a tricky but rewarding experience as collecting the medals unlocks bonus content such as extra missions, bonus ships like the Sith Infiltrator or blue Naboo starfighter, or multiplayer missions.

The graphics and sound for the game are pretty excellent even by today's standards. Sound effects and music were pulled straight from the movie itself and really adds to the overall feel of the game. The graphics(while still good) don't hold up as well. Each ships' hud is bright and useful in giving detailed info about your craft as well as info on enemies and allies alike. The environments for an early PS2 game look decent but compared to today's games they feel a little bland at times. The detail on the craft and vehicles are the best as each and every fighter, tank and ship looks authentic to the movie counterpart and really helps to sell the experience.

Overall, despite it's age Star Wars Starfighter is one great game! Fantastic game play, great action, a solid story with good characters, and a lot of bonus content this is a pretty complete package. Great for action gamers, Star Wars fans and noobs alike!

FanBoy gives Star Wars Starfighter(PS2): 9/10

----FanBoy

Video Game Review: Final Fantasy II Anniversary Edition(PSP)

Video Game Review: Final Fantasy II Anniversary Edition(PSP)

FanBoy is feeling lazy today so here is a quick review of Final Fantasy II for the PSP!

Like Final Fantasy for the PSP, Final Fantasy II is an enhanced remake of the original NES classic. Most of the content is recycled from Final Fantasy however. Graphics are the same, overall game play is the same, and most of the monsters are the same. There are some major differences though. First is the story. While still VERY generic for a FF game it is still more detailed and thought out than the original game. You follow four friends as they go on a quest to stop an evil emperor. Along the way they make new friends and allies that aid them in there quest. Not the most gripping but for an old school RPG it gets the job done. Another major difference is the leveling system. While you do gain levels and more HP in order to increase your attack power you need to raise your proficiencies in different weapons and items. This means that all characters can be evenly matched in ANY weapon area like swords, axes, or magic staffs. The same leveling system is used for magic as well. This means you may need to run around a lot fighting random battle to raise your levels for whatever weapons or magic you want to use. Systems like this are more common and more balanced in today's gaming world but back then Final Fantasy II was criticized for this system. Today however it feels more right at home among other RPGs. You also have different bosses and creatures to fight but overall it's the same as FF. That is not to say it is a bland game. Final Fantasy II is still very fun and definitely worth checking out for true Final Fantasy fans!

My Score for Final Fantasy II(PSP): 8/10

Better than the original Final Fantasy but still only for the die hard fans or noobs wanting to start at the beginning.

Ha! FanBoy 4 posts/FanGirl 1! >D

----FanBoy

Video Game Review: Final Fantasy Anniversary Edition(PSP)

Video Game Review: Final Fantasy Anniversary Edition(PSP)

Wow, two reviews in a row! FanBoy is jammin'! >D Since this day is our first big opening I thought 2 reviews would be a good way to start! :) Here is my review of the original Final Fantasy for the PlayStation Portable!


This is the game that started it all! I never had a chance to play the original Final Fantasy until now and it is one great game! Technically the PSP version is just a straight up port of the Dawn of Souls Edition for the Game Boy Advance but comes with a brand new dungeon called the Labyrinth of Time. Being a remake of the original NES game not much has changed. You still travel across an overworld and dungeons battling various monsters and bosses. Being the original game in the series there are a TON of random encounters. It can get pretty tedious at times but you may get used to it as time goes on. There is also a bar minimum of story here. All we know is that you play as the Four Warriors of Light as they try to save the world from evil. Nothing new or special at all but considering the game it has it's own unique charm. Graphics wise they are the same as the GBA version but were slightly bumped up for the PSP. The graphics are bright and colorful and fit the game well. Being the first Final Fantasy there is also the issue of having trouble of knowing where to go at times. You do have access to an overworld map but even that can barely be any help as there is no way of knowing where new areas are, how to reach them or what to do there in general. Some gamers may need a strategy guide or online walkthroughs for help. Despite these drawbacks there is a ton of stuff to do in the game. Beside the long main quest there are several bonus dungeons to explore, many bonus bosses to fight, and tons of gear, weapons and items to collect. While not as epic as say Final Fantasy 7 the original Final Fantasy is still a great game and the PSP version is a great way to see how one of the greatest gaming franchises ever began!

My score for Final Fantasy(PSP): 8/10

Not as epic or detailed as other Final Fantasy games but it is still an important classic! Well I hope you enjoyed our first video game review! More like this is on the way! :)

---FanBoy